Acting in the States was so much about rejection and looking good enough. One day I woke up and any sort of passion for that life was gone ...
During high school back home in Romania, theatre was everything I did. I decided to move to New York to take an acting class and never felt more at home anywhere else in the world. In Romania, I was always a bit too loud and I always thought that was something wrong about me but in New York, everyone was freaking crazy. If I wore a crazy outfit, instead of people going “ugh”, they’d be going “oh girl, I love your outfit”.
In the middle of applying for a working visa, I realized that I didn’t want to be an actress anymore. I woke up and any sort of passion for that life was gone. Which was really tough, because I had just spent a fortune and four years of my life living in New York, working on this application. Acting in the States was so much about rejection and looking good enough. I ended up hoping to do commercial work because it’s the only thing that pays but then I wasn’t skinny enough or the accent was never quite American enough; there were so many things happening that had nothing to do with the pleasure of acting. And to be completely honest: I wasn’t that good. So, I thought: ‘Maybe I have a talent for something else and I’m wasting it by being mediocre at this.’
Accepting this, and that that’s okay, was such a relief. It gave me the freedom to try something new. Everyone told me it’s impossible. Even after I got into King’s Law programme, people would say: “Congratulations, but you know the hardest part hasn’t even started yet.” So yes, there were a few hurdles but here I am.